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OFFICE MANAGEMENT:
Mark Lamb, Vice Principal: good guy. If you get in trouble, pray you go to him. One of the few actually willing to take the time to hear your side of the story.
Autumn Queen, Assistant Principal: a bit thick, no doubt from the three cans of hairspray she uses to plaster her hair to her skull. Comes off strict, but can be reasonable.
HEALTH:
Tammy Martin: this woman is on crack and I wish I were kidding. Infamous for stating that “homosexuality is a disease and it is contagious.”
Josh Kittle: no entry.
THE ARTS (putting it quite loosely there…)
Victor Iapalucci: you will either love him or hate him. Rather eccentric and owns a Ravenclaw tie. Personally, that’s a plus in my books.
Jennifer Lantz: don’t bother trying to impress this woman, she will only see you as a threat. If you suck at art, you already have an A+. Art students are better off in theater where their talents will actually be appreciated and you won’t be put down for lacking perfection even your own teacher could never achieve.
Mary Withers: she may be a nice person, but she spreads herself too thin and can’t possibly manage all the different classes she takes on. Has so far only butchered the theater department.
MATHEMATICS:
Glen Auvil: no entry.
Curtis Bodkins: sporty, fairly easy going, never had him.
Rick Cleavenger: Don’t call him The Colonel or Santa. Loves suspenders. Be quite and do your work legibly and you’ll get a good grade.
June Collins: no entry.
Susan DeLong: Psychotic. Possibly severely bi-polar. Suck up majorly and just do your home work and and keep your notebook organized and you’ll get a decent grade whether or not you’re actually good at the class.
Tonya Furgeson: no entry
Karen Moats-Nelson: no entry.
FOREIGN LANGUAGE:
Theresa Bender: is a vile, freshman-loathing baby machine. Stay away from Spanish unless you actually like love Mexican culture.
Ann Fetty: kind and patient, always willing to help you w/ your French but has a disturbing love of skorts and holiday sweaters. Also has a creepy shrine to her niece.
Zhenguri He: no entry. Rumored to have left. Can’t blame him.
LANGUAGE ARTS:
Frances Greco: nice, never had her.
Heather Halfin: Suspected alcoholic and has very little self-esteem. Tries to make up for it by being the “cool” teacher that’s into the same things as her students, but fails massively. Pretty much never matured past her sorority. Sucking up points: Volleyball and chick flicks.
Angie Hodge: no entry.
Jean Ellen Irvine: will take massive sucking up to pass any of her classes. This woman will either love or hate you and you will feel the same. Sucking up points: anything Wicked, Wizard of Oz or Phantom of the Opera. Also doesn’t hurt to compliment her desperately designer shoes or her gaudy broaches.
Teresa Marsh: mildly retarded. Her children look like monkeys. Will literally throw a temper tantrum if you accidentally call her “Mrs.” Marsh instead of “Dr.” Marsh. Loves quiet.
Christina Moneypenny: extremely eccentric and can be unreasonable to students she doesn’t like/is generally indifferent to. Suck up as early as possible. Sucking up points: one Carmen Corley, classic Star Trek, Monty Python, and dragging out the conversation as to lessen class work.
LIBRARIAN/MEDIA SPECIALIST
Leo Roe: anti-ninja.
Julie Scott: made of awesome. You cant not love this woman.
SOCIAL STUDIES:
Barbara Barkley: holier-than-thou. Keep on her good side at all costs and don’t ever take AP history.
Brenda Cogar: no entry. Works in the canteen.
Allyson McNaboe: yet another teacher that requires sucking up. Will pretend to hate the class rebels, but secretly it amuses her. Sucking up points: 24, one Carmen Corley, USA Today, traveling.
Brian Moats: never had him, but he can relate anything back to Forrest Gump or an episode of South Park and he WILL make you watch them. Swears every year that he will win the lottery and quit teaching forever. Also swears every year that he’s going to write a book about the stupid things his students say like Bobby’s infamous: “is the pope catholic?”
Jennifer Swift: no entry.
Danny Wagner: aka “D-Wag”. Contribute to class discussions (which are always humorous) and take notes and you will get an A+.
VOCATIONAL:
Glen Auvil: no entry.
Amanda Carter: kind, fair and sympathetic, but seriously, just be QUIET, that’s ALL she’s ever wanted in a class.
Debra Daugherty: no entry.
Rick Daugherty: no entry.
Jeannie Day: as obnoxiously chipper as her name. never had her.
Larry Foy: no entry.
Gerald Furby: no entry.
Gene Hovatter: no entry.
Karen Shannon: blatantly racist.
Jill Weese: no entry.
PYSICAL EDUCATION:
Stanley Fitzwater: creepy stalker. Needs to do something about that bald spot.
Carol Harris: pretty cool. Easy-going.
SCIENCE:
Traci Hoffman: no entry.
Holly Jones: no entry.
Rebecca Milem: extremely strict, merely trying to make up for the fact that she’s so young so that students don’t walk all over her.
Tim McDaniel: easy to please, just do your work. Be prepared for several stories about coal mining and fishing trips to Canada, eh.
James Poling: lazy, smells like chicken. Can never be bothered to do anything except mooch off Mr. McDaniel.
Whitney Reger: no entry.
DRIVER’S EDUCATION:
Cathy Wolfe: lady looks like a dude. I wish I were kidding. Besties with Mrs. Lantz as if her manliness weren’t bad enough.
